Tuesday, December 29, 2009

christmas 2009 and a bit beyond ..


the shock of realizing my mother's demise is eminent just 10 days ago..

snow ..

grief ..

guilt ... just because we think we've never done quite enough ..

multiple visits to my mother who does not recognize me anymore .. or perhaps she does?

the realization that christmas is nigh and that a certain 12 and 18 year old are still excited ..

beloved relatives of mine who come to visit ..

a bittersweet, yet, good christmas with family and relatives ..

putting together information for the obituary .. ..

visiting my mother

...

my mother's sister who is flying in this evening ..

more visiting ..

and the waiting ...








23 comments:

Ruela said...

Happy 2010 dear foam!

Best wishes!

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Ouch. Thinking of you. It is never easy. Don't anguish over the past - whatever you did, it was the best thing at the time.

/t. said...

aww, foamie

thinking of you

× × ×

/t.

HLiza said...

I've been thinking of you lately..it must be very hard on you and yours.

dianne said...

Such a beautiful photo Foamy dear for such an uncertain time, a time of mixed emotions...it is never easy and I just know you have always done your best... my thoughts are with you. ♡

Winters Reaper said...

nothing makes it any easier.. been there. But time goes on and so do we.....

just make sure you live, love and laugh...


and never forget, thats ok..


warm hugs

SJ said...

Awww. I am sure there is no reason for the guilt.

Rolf said...

I am thinking of you and your family
and your mother that I in a way met after reading your very good words about her.

Hug

Aunty Belle said...

Oh no, Sugar.

I is jes' so sorry. I can recall posts a few years back when y'all was spoofin' each other--I hate that she doan know ya these days. Rough road, Pumpkin.

But yore Christmas an' family gatherin's honor her life, her life lives on in yore chillen ...an' in you.

An' as I'se a few steps behind ya--Granny is bedridden but lucid--I know the waitin' is bittersweet: each day is precious, yet carries such anxiety.Yore mama raised an angel--youse been a wonnerful chile to her, Foamy.

Love an prayers for all yore loved ones. Happy New Year, may it be one of tender memories an' many new joys.

puerileuwaite said...

I know what you're going through. Hang in there, and dwell on the good. As you can see, all of our thoughts are with you.

Little Lamb said...

it's never easy to loose a loved one. I lost my mother in '97.

K9 said...

what a beautiful contrast on your page of the sepia christmas and the brilliant sunlight to its right. just like life..... if we're lucky, we all experience this moment of losing a parent but that doesnt make it any less sorrowful. but it is the natural order of things. you did a great job with your mom; you did. ive been reading this blog 4 years so i know. please take comfort in remembering all the beauties of a life well lived. *this is what i am practicing for myself*

sending you the big love

Mariana Soffer said...

Whish you all the best foam, hope I can keep you a little company at least. Wish you happiness, all that there is.

dianne said...

Thank you for your lovely wishes Foamy dear, it's all over here, just over an hour ago...watched the 9pm fireworks and the fireworks at midnight...lol, needless to say no firewroks going on here since I am on my own, but it was pleasant sitting outside for a while as it's quite warm here.
Mwah, there's a kiss for you too, I will gladly accept yours on my cheek, it's the only one I'm going to get.
Happy New Year,Foamy dear.
I hope you will be surrounded by the one's that you love and those who make you happy. xo ♡

AlmightyHeidi said...

((hugs))I hope you can breathe during this time of holidays..and your mom...remember to breathe foamy..take advantage of the pause afte the exhale..before the inhale

Middle Ditch said...

This must be such a hard time for you. Don't feel guilty though.

Aggie said...

I hope you are all getting through it ok and that in spite of all, you can enjoy a Happy New Year and I wish 2010 to be a good year for you.

Mayden' s Voyage said...

Hugs Foamie- you are so often in my thoughts~ ♥

The Phosgene Kid said...

Hope you have a happier 2010

foam said...

Happy New Year everybody!
Thanks all for the wonderful support through your thoughtful comments. I'm okay. I've had my family, my relatives here for support. And my mother is still hanging in there. She sleeps mostly and seems very peaceful and ready to move on to the next phase.
Love y'all ..

ANNA-LYS said...

Dear Foam,
I hope 2010 will bring harmony
and joy to You and the Yours!

<3

// AnnA

Ruela said...

Happy New Year!

X. Dell said...

I've always had you in my thoughts, freundin. I'm hoping that you hang in there.

I understand the guilt feelings--you always think that you could have done more. As time goes on, though, I'm guessing that the feelings of guilt will subside.

Your mother lived a fairly interesting life, witnessing up close a critical part of Western history. That you have chronicled her story to some degree here seems like a fitting tribute to a life, and to life in general, not to its end.

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