Wednesday, April 2, 2008

gasp! .. foam is thinking, reflecting, ruminating .. sort of ..

banter - to tease or to make fun of in a playful, good-natured way.

to exchange banter with someone ..
can be fun and relaxing.

my husband and i exchange banter..
not all the time, of course, sometimes we discuss
child rearing, politics, finances, art, music, elderly care..
sometimes we don't discuss or banter about anything..
that's when the titans clash..

but, then, it's my husband..
the master of banter, who usually can turn the tide a bit later
with banter ..
who can stay mad when can't help but reluctantly grin back?

amongst friends we exchange banter..
unless we're discussing politics, art, music, food, our next camping trip,
the miracle of duct tape or other important stuff, you know, like 'what's the meaning of it all' (oops, that might be sarcasm .. sorry ..)
but it's the banter that makes us laugh. sure, sometimes i want to take a big stick and knock one of my dear friends upside the head..
but i don't.. i just banter back .. ;)
it's the banter that makes us laugh.. .. that brings forth the smile..

sarcasm - hmmmmmm, can be used in a humorous way. yeah, right.. ;) no, i really think it can .. maybe ..
i might be sarcastic about situations at work... i might be sarcastic about the political situation in our country.. i might be sarcastic about the fact that i can't just stop and use one period .. why, do i always have to have multiple dots behind each statement that i make...? huh..? can somebody explain that to me, please .. ? but it's not sarcasm directed towards a person. ..

.. because sarcasm or sarcastic remarks can often times be directed towards a person in sharp, satirical or ironic statements designed to cut or give pain ... on purpose ..
(..and now i'm starting sentences with dots .. tsk..)
hmm, i suppose i should try and define irony and satire ....
but, i won't..

if my spouse and i are on the verge of a fight, we might revert to sarcasm. the banter has turned vile, bitter.. luckily, we are not sarcastic towards each other very often. i'd rather jump straight into battle without reverting to sarcasm. .. :)
and luckily, i really don't encounter very many people who use sarcasm as an insult towards other people.

i'm not an etymologist. i'm not going to go into the origins of these words.
i could probably find more synonyms or antonyms to further define these words, but i'm not ..

..and that's the end of foams thinking and reflecting..

gotta go tuck that sick child of mine in.

plus, my other son wants to check his email..
and his own space on the web .. :)


Anonymous said...

i find
banter amongst
friends to be both
entertaining & educational


¤ ¤ ¤


SJ said...

For meanings of "it" and "all" please refer to a good dictionary.

I think using more than one dot to end a sentence is your subconscious telling you that nothing ever really ends and all that ends has also just begun. Be Zen.

Pink said...

I wish I could think of some sarcastic banter to respond to that way too philosophical BE ZEN comment...

...but I can't I will dot...

foam said...

Not just
sarcasm or
banter. But
sarcastic banter?
A concept foam has
not thought about at all.
Now she's all in a conundrum.
An she's putting one dot behind statements. AND capitalizing the
beginning of sentences. And is dong this weird diagonal and staggered
commenting thing. Now see what you've done. Tsk.

Nope, not going to. My brain is empty. It feels good. Nothing shall pass it's filters.
Be Zen? But then I'd have to start dong what's right for the mind, body and soul. ......oh, the horror.......

....let's dot away then.......

ANNA-LYS said...

Great reflecting, Foam. I even learned a new word today banter, I love the sound of it, thank You! When I am exposed to sarcasm, it feels painful, 'cause I know that it is meant to hurt. Sarcasm can never be a joke, funny or witty if addressed to a certain person. If we look at ourselves in the mirror next time we address someone with sarcasm, and we can see the ugliness of that smile.

Sarcasm has grown modern in media , especially amongst politicians, and I guess that is why humans has start to use it as a tool for entertainment.

But, stop hello!!!
Is it ethical to entertain others by hurting someone else official?

The new concept "sarcastic banter", may be a fun game amongst friends, but never on radio, newspapers, magazines, TV or Internet - Why? First and foremost You are not real friends, only at distance, we can't even say that this encounters create acquaintances.

The feeling when exposed to sarcasm, knowing that thousands and thousands of "watchers" seeing You without "pants" (losing ones face in public) is very very shameful - and I am sorry I can't see the "edutainment", in such an castrating process either.

On top of that; all those groupies that keeps thinking this is both fun and very interesting ... such mechanism are only used in terror activities and alienatings.

I am an adult, I can say stop, even if I am sad in my heart. But, the number of adolescents in the midst of their creation of an identity, have committed suicide after being exposed to such sarcasm online. And our visitors are from very young to old, the education we give them in media is SARCASM, and I think we need to keep reflecting about if this is the interpersonal "skills" we want our kids to play around with, with unknown "faceless" others.

Thank You Foam, I will continue reflecting, thanks to Your post.

PS I have tried to be sarcastic ones here online, but it felt painful to do it, and I still feel the taste in my mouth DS

With hope for a new bottle of "wine" // AnnA

ANNA-LYS said...

Sorry, hope Your soon is on his way to recover from the illness <3

I apologize that I oppressed You with such many words in my former comment. I know You guy's don't like it. But, I do not have all the tools :-D for shortening my expressions, such as skills in Your language.

(( hug ))

Anonymous said...


entertaining & educational?

...but of course i am being facetious

¤ ¤ ¤


foam said...

thanks for all the comments..
i just checked back in on my computer.
you are wrong, anna, i enjoy long comments. my blog just usually is not the type of blog that elicits long comments. i do read some blogs where comments are often lengthy and thoughtful and sometimes downright sparring...although, hopefully not insulting. you have to be tough to want to comment in that crowd. i usually don't. i'll have to reread your other comment to give it some justice. you have put much thought into it.

of course .. ;)
and i was being facetious in my remark back to you .. :)
actually, conceivably, i like the word facetious better than banter.
as an adjective it sums up more of what i was referring to when i used the word banter.

foam said...

and i'll be back later ..

HLiza said...

He he..thanks for explaining what 'banter' is..I never used the word before..but had done it many times. Who hasn't?

And sarcasm..maybe I'm too angelic for that..he he..'wink'

ANNA-LYS said...

To be able to be "Facetious" You need a face or at least a sound to intunate the intention of the significant other. I find it hard to "read" intentions online when using communicative forms of language that needs f2f (face-to-face)presence, to be understood. Maybe, we should be more aware of that the communication is at a far distance and only trough signs and symbols. As this wasn't enough lol signs and symbols are cultural tools that differ between us. A concrete example is Your use of X, that over here means "forbidden", "no trespassing", "stop", or "this is a cross line" etcetera. :-D
First lately, I have been aware of that the sign can be interpreted as a kiss!

Some of You might thinking of an easy way out; stop communicate with "strangers" ... I do hope there are other models in use to communicate transnational, I really do.

(( hug ))

Anonymous said...

the lack
of f2f here
is a long time
documented 'problem'

there's little to be done for this, except for use of smilies and the like... poor substitutes

still, millions of us do manage to get along here

i think it is largely a matter of common sense (and some faith) -- i trust my instincts about foamie (for a handy example) -- that she is sincere and agreeable, a 'good sport', fun, generous, well intentioned, and etc

switching examples now to myself -- i try to be as foamie, with more or less success -- that said, sometimes i misread a situation and say something stupid or insensitive, and in these cases, i rely on the good sense of my online friends to recognize my gaff as just that -- to have a little faith and understand that i've not suddenly gone evil

i extend to you, my online friends, the same courtesy


foam said...

i don't really agree with the whole of your statement, anna. you do not need to be face to face to be facetious. humorous, facetious communication or banter can be done through the written word. facetious does not necessarily imply face to face communication. [French facétieux, from facétie, jest, from Latin facētia, from facētus, witty.] yah, i actually took the time to look something up for once.. (now that's funny .. for me anyway!)

there are cultural differences in how humor is perceived whether through the written word or face to face communication. and as you say, symbols do differ between cultures and countries.

here in the usa "x" does not just stand for a kiss.
x - multiplication sign
x - unknown number
x - unknown person
x - marking something out, annulment
x - used in warning signs
xo - kiss and hug
x - rated movies
xxx - an indicator for porn ..
(these are just a few i could think of)

xo ..

ps: it took me forever to figure out <3 .. for the longest time i thought it was a sideways ice cream cone .. but that's just me thinking through my tummy ..

pss: anyway, i communicate and banter with many international bloggers .. hopefully succesfully ..

and i've just become aware of /t.'s comment ..

foam said...

and we do need to have faith in each other ..
we have to have faith that that twinkle in the eye is there..

and should i ever turn evil .. like during certain times of the month ..
i'll put up internationally understood symbols so everybody can be forwarned and run away ..

foam said...

oh ..
and, of course, x - for a specific fellow blogger ;)

foam said...

yes, my Malaysian blogging buddy, who doesn't use banter?
and, of course, i'm also so angelic that i never use sarcasm either .. err.. yeah.. hehe..

Anonymous said...

<3 (heart, sideways)
to anna-lys and foamie

oh, and to foamie...
you can have your blog back now :)

¤ ¤ ¤


ANNA-LYS said...

oh, and to foamie...
you can have your blog back now :)

Does that mean that the discussion is over, when it really just have began?

<3 <3 <3
from the Town of Three Hearts


and thanks Foam,
I did see opening before it closed ;-)

Have a lovely weekend out there!!!

Indigo said...

You two seem really happy together. I'm glad :)

Blessed Be, Foamie

ANNA-LYS said...

Before going to sleep I did check the articles about adolescents (youths) suicide due to sarcasm online; they put forward a possible solution -> that people engaged in those games and plays, put it both in their profiles and in tags.

Good Night America ;-)

Little Lamb said...

Meanings of words.

Ruela said...

very interesting.

foam said...

and a double dipped sideways icecream cone to you /t. .. <3 ..
btw., my comment section is your comment section. the door is always open..

discussion is always welcome and short, reaaaaaaaaaaaalllly short answers are also always welcome .. :)

from the presently rainy stormy thundering small town somewhere over here in america .. a double dipped icecream cone with a cherry on top back at you ..

yep, it's been 25 years of togetherness .. for the better and for the worse and for the better..etc., etc.,

yes, that would seem a good idea.
but would certain youth who can't handle sarcasm stay away? one would hope. some youth are so impressionable and take statements so serious. they internalize things to their own detriment. i've talked to my teenager about being online and what to watch out for and how to present himself when he is on his site. it's a serious matter. luckily his site is only open to his friends.

but you did give me an idea..
maybe i should put up a
warning about my blog saying:

this blog is occasionally nonsensical and participates in banter, hopefully, harmless ..
reading this blog might harm your intelligence .. beware ..

(i'm kidding, i'm kidding .. i can't help myself sometimes)

little lamb,
yes! i wholeheartedly agree ..
who said it all in 3 words ..
such economy.. ;)

uh huh, darn right! I think so too.

boneman said...

"i should try and define irony and satire ....
but, i won't.."

Oh, OK, I will....
(I just use the four dots to pause. S'no big deal, that)


Your kid on the computer is writing to the International Rascal Organization of New York, and satire has to be changed before driving there.

Little Lamb said...

I like banter and need to get a sense of humor.

The Phosgene Kid said...

I'm never sarcastic!

LADY LUXIE said...

Sometimes "sarcasm" can be a look given to words..just a may be..not all....You know, like when you're saying something and the other pretends you aren't there...grrrrrrrrr.................I de-stress by playing with dots....................I like dots......Dots are the way to go...!

foam said...

since satire could go flat again maybe we should carry a spare..
i love a good pun and am not very good at them at all. you might say that i suffer from punus envy. and that's about the only pun i know ..

little lamb,
you don't need to have a sense of humor. you are the elicitor of humor. ..;)

if ya' think so..

.....and don't you absolutely grrrrr at it when they roll their eyes ...?

boneman said...

ok, I've been studying my own dots all night, and I've found something interesting....

(not that one. That one is a pause)

I superful;ously use them.
Maybe too much.
....I'll just have to wait and see....

Then again, It's our own laziness, y'know.
And Annalys, there IS a way to "speak" when writing.
I just did it with "it"....
(see? now THAT pause was so you could go back and see and I'm just waiting there till you get back)
But, I did it with "that" that time.

Down under this box it says we can use HTML tags such as b and i and a....(a? what the heck is THAT?).... but not very many folks do.

I would.
Danged tooting!
I LOVE using inflection when I'm writing. I do it alot, but, all I have is capital letters.

'cause it doesn't make any sense to me....
because it doesn't make any sense to me.
(I wrote the things out as they were under the box and haven't been able to leave.)

'Course, I AM experimenting....

I couldn't figure it out....but, I gotta go check the food, so I just took all the danged things out and will screw around with it later....

(that time I had to leave something unfinished, and four dots seemed fitting)

boneman said...

I got it!

what'dya mean shut up people are sleeping?
Are y'kiddin' me?

foam said...


foam said...

who needs sleep anyways, eh?

boneman said...

yeah, but it's not easy....

where's my "easy" button?

boneman said...

ok ok

So? It takes more tact to use these things, these "toys" of the written word.

But, what's wrong with WANTING an EZ button?

(this is weird....)

boneman said...

And, what's a anyway?

boneman said...




(feel like a kid in a candy store when the owner has just a wee bit too much to drink and says, "Sure, sure, kid. Eat ALL you want!"

foam said...

<<¡well now..!>>
sometimes we just can't have everything we want.

foam said...

make yourself at home...
my comment section is your comment section..

foam said...

g'night. i'm sweepy..

Aunty Belle said...

Foamy, hey hey! Please come play the Meme Memoir wif' us--I'se taggin' ya!

ANNA-LYS said...

I agree with Little Lambs
"meanings of words"

Sarcastic comments directed towards a specific person in front of others, are not the same as satiric humour, meant to be looked upon like a negotiated understood theatre. The later can be entertaining, oh yes. :-D

I have had lucid dreams this past night. During the morning I have been through all psychiatric articles I got about sarcasm. And I have now contact the clinic so I can get a front lob operation as soon as possible.

Or, the language puts me in a situation where I got problems with comments like "Interesting". In one of the articles they have an interesting (here meant interesting) concrete situation between a worker and a boss. The worker are sitting in the coffee room, and the boss enters the room with a

"- Don't work to hard", and the worker stays put in his chair!

The "anatomy of sarcasm" explains how the mind puts sharp-tongued words into context. If You are an immigrant, a child, an autistic or front lob damaged person; You do as the boss tell You, not what he meant.
To manage in full to comprehend sarcasm depends upon a carefully orchestrated sequence of complex cognitive skills based in specific parts of the brain (and focus (inter-esse)). If any of us has a problem understanding the socio-cultural situation, he or she may fail to understand the literal language, and I think it is impossible to understand unknown faceless others socio-contexts, and I don't see it as a goal, either. Yours and my social life is hopefully not here online!

Let's think of us as immigrant from all over the world that has moved to Cyberland (even if we are damages other ways). Would we really blame the hurt one, or would we try to together find ways to make the communication easier and fun to everyone?

If I understand Your comments here, You mean that sarcasm is fun to everyone, and those how not understand, should be put in quarantine or camps until they have learned the Americans way of having "fun".

My humour is under all critics, its raw, and straight forward. Your solution to this is either to make a new post fast, as in this example:

"Don't You think my Swenglish is charming, anymore? :-/

When I was in Gambia and Senegal they spoke with Little Lambs in their mouths ... they called it Wooloff ... because the sentences always ended with a spittle ... that was NOT as charming as Swenglish!!!"
(my sense of humour, I am not a rasict and I like both animals and Little Lamb, the fun here (to me that is) was the playfulness with Wool Off (Woloff))

or stop communicate with me or as in my April Fool Day's post not laughing, not asking but write

"A-L <3 CSI".

IF my Swedish humour are black as hell or hurting You in any way, by all means -> Tell me!

I am not a mean or evil person, and I don't mean bad, I am very sorry if I with no intention at all have hurt You guy's!

When I was sad and hurt I wrote one spontaneous comment about stressed Americans not paying any attention to the content in the post, did I get e-mails .... oh yes .

How ever I turn to You, my back is still at the back, and I do not have any more tools to use to be accepted as I am. And that is al right with me, no one can blame me for not trying ... OK You can blame me for taking up to much space :-D

(( Hugs n' Ughs ))

*May the Force be with You*

Jama nga fanaan (Woloff Good Day)

// AnnA

Indigo said...

we did not cut today. we wanted to. we are supposed to. we did not. will not. we are numb. skin feels numb. supposed to cut. supposed to bleed. blood pays for sins. and indigo's anger at god. we resist. won't cut. won't bleed. we wat to cut but we are not cutting. we want to bleed but aren't bleeding. we are being good. we are not evil. we are dark but not evil.

mean dovey cooledge said...

oh. i thought you sad "bantam" and "duck tape" dag. nevermind

Anonymous said...


not interesting

rules and regulations

not interesting


foam said...


you wrote ..

If I understand Your comments here, You mean that sarcasm is fun to everyone, and those how not understand, should be put in quarantine or camps until they have learned the Americans way of having "fun".

my personal comments don't imply that at all ..
and i don't get a sense that comments by other bloggers imply that either..

foam said...

good. no cutting is very good. okay?

already got an idea for the meme ..

mean dovey,
sorry .. ;)
but you are perfectly welcome to come back and visit anytime ..

thank you ..
another sideways icecream cone ..
just what i needed..
after a long day at work.
¤ ¤ ¤

whimsical brainpan said...

For me sarcasm and banter often go side by side. I do enjoy both quite a bit.

foam said...

just waaaaaaiiiiit one moment, mean dovey ..
i knows you ..

you have a connection!
good to see you back..

ANNA-LYS said...

I made a copy of this "discussion" were we never meet, in an "I can understand what You mean but I have an other opinion". If this is significant for international communication amongst strangers, then I think I have to learn to realize, that this is not mind to mind communication, at all. God, I am naive, love is not in the air :-D

Thanks again Foam, it was a great topic, and I learned lots and lots, and I will use this gained knowledge in my future articles (no names, no names)!

Do You care for an ice-cream? ;-)


Anonymous said...

It is difficult to banter on the net.
People are so easily hurt when there are only written words.

The Phosgene Kid said...

banty banter. I'm hip!

foam said...

it depends on the blog and bloggers.
in some blogs i banter ..
in some blogs i'm serious ..
..and in some blogs i'm silent..

foam said...

congratulations! now if just i could be come hip too..

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