Tuesday, September 25, 2007

relieved and guilt

i am relieved that my mother will be discharged from the hospital tomorrow.
she will be released into a nursing home which has a rehab facility.
i am soooooooooooooo relieved that my doctor's nurse gave the nursing home rehab place a glowing report. in her opinion they have excellent facilities ..... and animals for therapy purposes. her grandmother had also been treated there until she was well enough to go back home. i had toured the facility just recently and it seemed like a very decent place, but it's always good to hear from a professional who knows what they are looking at. i am also relieved that a heart condition had been found while my mother was in the hospital. she is now receiving treatment for it.

i feel slightly guilty in the relief i am feeling. for you see, my mother going into rehab means that i and my family will have a break from caregiving. i had not realized until my mother ended up in the hospital how much her frailty and dementia had effected our lifes. we are not listening with one ear for a potential fall because she refuses to use her walker. my sons are not constantly chasing after her with a "oma, oma, where is your walker?" as they rush to find the walker and bring it to her. and, yet, my sons adore her. my youngest loves to sit beside her and stroke her arm...on the rare occasions that she will sit. she has a tendency to trail me... to be behind me every step i take when i'm home. she even sits behind me when i blog.
so, the predicted fall came. her hip broke .... a heart condition was found ... and life goes on...
one rehab step at a time.


Kate said...

Its so difficult to be in your position! No one can tell you how to 'feel' about the entire situation but try not to be too tough on yourself. You are doing soooo much for her and its a struggle! Feeling relief is the natural! So, unfortunately is feeling guilt.

I think you need to pull out that boot and fill and empty it all yourself! hehehe Take care Foam!

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

My Mom used to be the Director of Nursing at several nursing homes. What you are feeling is normal. Taking care of an elderly loved one can be extremely draining. Just because you are happy to have a break, it does not make you a bad person. Enjoy the time off!

I hope your Mom continues to improve.

X. Dell said...

Caring for a loved one, no matter how dear, is really difficult, especially when you have other responsibilities. Your mother might like the rehab center after awhile, as she makes friends, and you all will still be visiting her regularly, and are available by telephone.

As for the relief you feel, I guess telling you not to feel guilty about it would be pointless. Still, you might want to remember that your mother was lucky to have you around her, and that you were there when she needed you. Even more, you still will be.

Ruela said...

be strong!

Anonymous said...

so happy
to hear your
mom is mending

nice monochrome!


she said...

no no...that is universal...that guilt of relief. but its how it is! anybody would feel the same way...it doesnt mean you dont love! im certain i could not handle your responsibilities as graciously as you do foamy. please dont feel bad because you are free from caregiving for a while. caregivers need care too!

i like the blue painting....

HLiza said...

Hugs from me Foam..I think this is a whole new start to your life and your mum's too. Love her while you can (I'm telling myself that too..)

foam said...

thanks all for your supportive comments again. much, much appreciated, folks. i actually understand that feeling guilty is normal.
it was still kind of shocking to my system to put my mother into a nursing home with rehab facilities today. cause, despite their great rehab services, it's still a nursing home.

Rach said...

Don't be too hard on yourself honey, you have done the best you can, and it's great that your boys love her so much when so many kids don't adore their grandparents. Life moves on, and us with it!

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