Thursday, September 27, 2007

Proverbs





ps: the shock of having to put my mother into a nursing home, even if just for rehab purposes, is wearing off. what gets me through really tough times is that little spark of contented joy that never is quite extinguished within me. yes, i can wallow in the dumps, feel sorry for myself, go through some bouts of depression. but when it gets to the point where i contemplate having to ask for some happy pills of the prescription kind... i rummage within, find that internal spark lighter that sometimes is hidden way down deep and light that little spark of joy myself. sometimes i find that external stimulus is still needed though.
lately i've been knitting furiously on a hot pink scarf. i've been in the zone of this hot pink scarf and it's helped to sooth the soul ...... much better than xanax, or some other stuff like that could...

here's to hot pink scarfs and internal spark lighters...

and you all. you are the other external stimulus that helps.
xo

22 comments:

Kate said...

love the photo! Is that you?

When I was living with my Mom through her illness, I couldnt find my feelings. I wasnt allowing my self to feel and repressed all my emotions. It really messed me up. It sounds like you are dealing with your situation productively! (and I bet you look great in hot pink! =])Things like candles, cooking and exercise really helped me too!

As for her being in the nursing home, sometimes you need to let go. There is no way that you could do for her what they can right now. Perhaps not forever, but for at least right now. I think that revolation... and signing the hospice forms were the most difficult for me. I had to give up my control.

You keep digging out that spirit my friend!!! The great thing about the spirit that it rejuvinates!

foam said...

yes, kate..
c'est moi...sort of. i'm really not that colorful looking.

i'll be back later. i'm off to work.

/t. said...

:)

/t.

X. Dell said...

Hmm. If I had only taken up knitting in high school. Could have saved a fortune on Elevil.

I can understand feeling sorry for yourself once in a blue moon. After all, if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself.

Of course, you seem to have the wherewithal and sense not to stay in a dark place too, too long.

foam said...

x.dell,
there's been times when i probably could have benefited from the use of an antidepressent because i've let myself wallow for too long. there's been times when i could have used something for insomnia or anxiety. but when it gets to the point to where i think it's time for pills i find i have this real streak in me that will slowly pull myself out of the dumps by doing something besides taking pills ... like finding a job where a teach 800 kids a week ... tsk ...

Mayden' s Voyage said...

I'm so sorry about your mom- and her being in the nursing home (even though that is a good thing- for all of you).

Indeed- here's to internal spark lighters and pink scarves- I would toast you if I could (and it wasn't breakfast time ;)

I'm thinking of you and the days ahead when your mom is released- just remembering what is was like when Grandma came back to us after her fall.
I admire you for all the ways you have managed your family, your time, your work, and your art-
wow... I won't call you "wonder woman"...how about "wonderful woman"? Yep- that fits :)
Hugs~

Merelyme said...

yes yes...keep knitting...whatever it takes. feel your feelings as you feel them. it is okay. remember that this is a process...and there are no shortcuts to emotions. dear lord i sound like a pop psychology book. i don't mean to.

my mom is in a home and has been there for years. i am so sorry you are going through this.

foam said...

mayden,
but i really don't feel like i'm managing anything at all very well.
but, it's still nice to be called a wonderful woman. thanks..:)

merelyme!
hope you're doing fine yourself. no you don't sounds like a pop psychologist at all. you sound like somebody who knows what they are talking about. thanks.

/t. said...

foam,

the more
i see this
image, the more it grows on me, both for it's biblical texts, and the haunting colors -- kind of like a colorful shroud of turin... cool!

/t.

foam said...

thanks, /t.
:)

the.red.mantissa said...

a hard thing to face ... letting go. sometimes letting go must serve as our way of loving ... as compared with hanging on. kate's right. and i'm glad you see that its best for your mum.

pink is an uplifting colour ... also the colour of muted anger. keep digging inside yourself to find the sunshine or whatever you need to get thru ...

Ruela said...

v. cool ;)

ThursdayNext said...

A hot pink scarf sounds hot ;)

The Lone Beader said...

That's one of the reasons why I bead so much... keeps my mind off of things... and soothes the soul=:)

Anonymous said...

mantissa,
yes, this particular pink is kind of uplifting, yet kind of aggresive at the same time. i liked the pink scarf mayden made for you btw.

ruela,
why thank you kindly, sir.

thursday,
yep, hot and in your face.

foam

Anonymous said...

lb,
i can see that.
art can be a good outlet.
foam

jin said...

OH! LOVE that image!
I'm glad I clicked on it.
(Ohhhhh, who am I kidding... I always click. Everywhere. :-)

I understand the knitting therapy. I never do the pill thing either. I think you can guess what I do! lol!

Sending you positive energy to deal with the Mom situation... I've been dealing with one of those myself lately.

Thanks for stopping by my place! :-)

foam said...

jin! thanks ..!
and thanks for visiting my place.
you have a really great site. but i have to learn not to click on it when my incorrigible sweet tooth is raging.

Little Lamb said...

It's good to know you don't have to rely on any kind of drug to get you through whatever you're going through.

Little Lamb said...

I'm going to add you to my blog roll.

Anonymous said...

You are a sweet caring daughter.I wish I could say the same for me..anyway..

hot pink sounds cool....I hope you post a pic after its done. I'm hand sewing a throw pillow....not as exciting but I'm placing little creeping wooden turtles all over it:>

Right now a critter bug is humming its crittering sound out in my garden..lovely tune...

guess who...

foam said...

..LL ..
last night i seriously considered drugs .. of the legitimate kind of course ..

i'm adding you too btw. i would have done so long ago if i weren't so lazy about things like that sometimes..

anymoose,

oh, the scarf is really not that interesting looking probably.
i'd much rather see photos of your creations.

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